Slayers Summer Camp
by Verdigris
Summary: The Slayers cast as kids go to Camp Winnabaggo for six weeks. Goofy humor at its worst. Chapter 3 is up
1. Camp Winnebaggo

Slayers Summer Camp

By Courtney Kays "Verdigris"

= = = = = = = = =

Luna Inverse was drinking her coffee and looking through the paper in the late hours of the morning. She sipped at her cup and turned the pages to the local section. She came across an ad and glanced over it. "Well I'll be.." Luna smiled and put the paper under her arm and walked to her little eight-year-old sister's room.

Lina was sitting on the floor in her room, hunched over her toys. She was holding a toy girl doll with long blond hair and moving the doll's legs walk across the floor. 

"Dum dee dum dee dum, I'm so stupid, all my brains have seeped into my chest to make them unporportionally large, dum dee dum dee dum." She reached behind her to grab another toy while she continued to make the doll hop around with the other hand. "I'm so pretty, oh so pretty I'm so….oh no!" Her other hand produced an evil looking wizard action figure from behind her. "It's Pogo the Wizard of Black Magic! I must run away on my toes of my dainty feet because my arches are too high! AHH!" 

Lina took her Pogo figure and started pounding the girl doll with it. "Die! DIE!" 

Luna peeked her head in the door. "Lina? Are you killing your Barbie dolls with Pogo again?"

"Yeah." Lina giggled sinisterly. "Malibu Hoochy Barbie didn't have a chance." She hugged her grossly detailed evil wizard figure. Luna sighed; the girl always had a thing for evil wizards for some reason. Hopefully it's just a phase.

 "Lina, I just was looking through the paper and I saw an ad for a summer camp for kids." Luna said softly, holding the paper up through the door. 

Her little sister stuck her nose at her and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't wanna go to summer camp! It's stupid!"

Luna tried to keep her cool, but a vein was popping up on her forehead. "But it's at Camp Winnabago. You must be so bored playing by yourself in the summer time. If you go you'll meet lots of new friends and your big sister can finally buy normal portions of food at the store." She forced a smile.

Lina looked away from the door and went back to her toys. "I'm not going to camp this summer. No way, no how." She suddenly felt the room get warmer and red haze of light covering her walls. Lina gulped and turned to the door to see the angry, red eyed Luna with the paper in her hand.   
  
"IF YOU DON'T GO TO SUMMER CAMP AND GET OUT OF MY HAIR I'LL STAPLE YOUR HAIR TO THE GARAGE DOOR AGAIN, SO HELP MEEE!" 

Lina's eyes were wide and said with a weak voice, holding her action figure in front of her face for protection. "I'll go….to summer camp."

Luna cooled down in two seconds and said cheerfully. "Oh wonderful! I hope you're not doing for me."

"No not at all…"

"Gooood!" Luna said sing-song like. "It starts next week! Get your bug spray!" Then slammed the door.

= = = = = =

"Zelgadis my dear boy, where are you?" Rezo called from the kitchen with a frying pan in one hand and an apron around his waist. "Your grilled cheese sandwich is ready!"

A young boy around nine years of age walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing a gray t-shirt and cargo dark blue pants. He didn't look up at his grandfather and sat in one of the table chairs.

Rezo flipped the sandwich onto a plate and handed it to Zel. "So what were you doing in your room?"

"Nothing."

"Sounds like fun." He gave his grandson his sandwich and watched the lavender, spiky haired boy depressively pick up his boring lunch that he's had everyday for five years.. Zel sighed and looked at his grilled cheese criticingly and took a bite, chewing it with an expressionless face.

Rezo gritted his teeth and put the frying pan away. "That boy ain't right."

"Sweetie!" 

"Ah, Eris! How are you?" Rezo smiled and hugged his girlfriend. Zel made a disgusted face with his mouth full at Eris. "What brings you here so early?"

Eris jumped up and down, her tight black crop-top with a 'Foxy Gal' written in gold letters in front. "Oh Rezo darling, I just couldn't wait till this evening to start our two week vacation!"

Zel leaned his elbows on the table. "Vacation? Grandpa, what's this about?" 

Rezo untied his apron. "Eris and I both have the same vacation time this year. Two full weeks."

"So…..you'll be going out of town?" Zel's eyes sparkled at the thought. His grandfather and his girlfriend away his sight for a whole week meant peace and quite for him. He could tolerate his grandpa, but not his girlfriend.

Eris giggled. "No silly! I'm staying her with your grandpa!!"

Zelgadis nearly fell off of his chair. "Two full weeks? I can't take _one day with you and Grandpa making out in the living room!"_

Rezo shrugged. "Then don't come in the living room."

"I live here!" Zelgadis cried. "I have rights you know!"

Eris rolled her eyes and hugged Rezo. "I'll pray for you when his teenage years come along." 

"Well, he doesn't like us together in the house, maybe he could go to one of his friends house." Rezo thought, glancing down at Zel.

Zel looked down at the floor, his voice lowered. "I don't have any friends."

"Surprise, surprise.." Eris grinned. "Why don't do what other kids do, go to summer camp or something."

"Would you like that, Zel? Go to camp for awhile?" 

Zelgadis blinked, "Let me think about it…"

Rezo and Eris started to make out in front of him.

Zel quickly covered his eyes. "Okay I thought about it!" 

= = = = = =

"DA-DEE!" Amelia squealed loudly, running through the hallway to her father's office. "Daddy! Daddy!" The seven year-old slid down the smooth tiles of the large room and pounced on her father's back, knocking him out of his chair and unto the floor.

"Daddy!" Amelia jumped on his chest. "I wanna go to Summer Camp!!"

Phil gasped for air and picked his daughter off his chest, holding her up as he lay stunned on the floor. "Go where?" He asked breathless from her attack.

"Summer Camp!" Amelia wiggled as his arms held her up. "Gracia told me all about it! She went when she was younger and told me all the neat stuff you get to do! Can I go? Please daddy??"

"I don't see why not." Phil picked his daughter up, putting her down on the floor. He cracked his lower back. "For a little girl you sure pack a punch." He gave her a huge grin and tickled her, "That's my daughter! All that energy and no where to put it! If you want to go to camp, you can go to camp!"

Amelia's eyes twinkled, and two golden stars appeared where her pupils once were. "Oh thank you Daddy!"

Gracia glanced in the office sleepily. Blinking at the scene her sister and father were in.

"Daddy!" Amelia hugged Phil.

"Daughter!"

"Uh….not again. All this loud affection…" Gracia tottered out the office sleepily. "I think caffeine runs in my family's blood."

= = = = = 

Luna parked the car near the summer camp bus in the park. "Alright Lina. We're here, so take out your stuff and get on the bus now."

The redheaded little girl was thinking up an excuse. "Um…..I left my bug spray at the house! Heh, guess I can't go to Camp Winnabago after all. Oh well, maybe next year."

Luna opened up the glove department and a pile of bug spray cans rolled out. She grabbed one up and thrust it into the back seat with Lina. "Here ya go!"

Lina blinked, "How did you…?"

"When I said you were going to camp I meant it." Luna growled. "Now get out and a have a good time, god damnit!" Lina didn't waste time and ran out of the car with her pack.

Zelgadis was unbuckling himself from his seat in the back of Rezo's car. Eris was sitting shotgun next to him. "Now Zelgadis please behave yourself and make some friends, okay?" Rezo told him.

Zel sighed. "Yeah, yeah." He looked up to see Eris and his grandfather making out again and he rushed out of the car covering his eyes. "IT BURNS!"

Amelia was giving her father a big bear hug and ran full speed to the bus to get in line with other kids. Six children were lined up in a row outside a yellow and white bus, waiting for the leaders of the camp to greet them. The bus door opened and a long blonde haired young woman with a microphone stepped out to stand at one of the steps of the bus.

"Good morning everyone! I'm Filia, one of Camp Winnebaggo's counselors! I am in charge of the girl's section of the camp and I know we're all going to have a splendid time together." She giggled and clapped her hands together. Filia glanced over her shoulder to see Xelloss annoyingly imitating her hand clapping and she shoved the microphone into his shoulder.

"Counselor Xelloss? Why don't YOU take over.." Filia clenched her teeth with a fake grin. 

"I would be honored!" Xelloss cleared his throat. "I am the other counselor of Camp Winnebaggo! I am in charge of the boy's section of the camp, so I hope everyone of you has had their shots before coming because the cesspool of bacteria littered throughout the camp will probably kill you the first day without them! Come aboard everyone!"

The kids obediently gulped and walked up the steps and got into their seats. Lina sat in the back, hiding from the other children. Amelia sat up front, bouncing happily. "Summer camp summer camp! Yahoo!"

Martina, a little green haired and spoiled little rich girl, gave Amelia a weird look and sat in the seat a few rows back. A tough kid with teal hair and a horn in his forehead stomped down the row to sit in the middle, hissing at Zelgadis when he tried to sit next to him. Zelgadis gave him the stink eye and sat in the seat behind Lina.

Lina peered over her seat at Zel. "Hey, whatcha in for?"

"My grandpa and his girlfriend in the same house together for two weeks." He shuddered.

"Just two weeks?" Lina asked confused. "This camp six weeks long."

Zel slammed his head into the back of Lina's seat. "Oh great! Arrrhh….Now they tell me." Lina sighed in response and slumped back into the cushion.

Another kid walked on board and sat next to Lina. "Hi! My name's Gourry!"

"I'm Lina." She blinked at his happy expression. "You're really happy to go to camp?"

"This bus goes to camp? I needed to get on the bus to get to grandma's…….Oh well. " Gourry shrugged and chewed on a baloney sandwich. Lina sighed and shook her head.

Filia and Xelloss walked up on board. Filia announced, "Next stop is Camp Winnabago! We want to teach all of you the Camp Winnabago song, so repeat after Xelloss and me!"

"There once was a man from Nantucket…"

Filia smacked Xelloss in the head.  "Not that one!"

= = = = =

Author's Note: Want me to continue? I'll continue the story if anyone is interested.


	2. Bunk and Bed Problems

_Author's note: Thanks for support in the reviews! I will continue this story as much as I can, it's been very busy here. Not only are Filia and Xelloss camp counselors, but the rest of the darklords are in charge of the activities. Great googly-moogly._

Chapter 2

"Fifty-five bottles of caffeine-free soda on the wall, fifty-five bottles of caffeine-free soda! You drink it down, pass it around…" Filia and Xelloss sang out on the bus while it rolled down the road. The kids stayed silent in their seat, darting their eyes around at the windows or just staring at their shoes. Amelia was the only one singing along with them.

Zel sat back on the cushioned seat, his legs pulled up to his chest. That kid with the horn in his head was glaring at him from the third row up. He mouthed the words, "What" at the kid. The horned boy only frowned and turned away to face the front of the bus.

"Weird guy." Lina hummed, her arms slung over Zel's seat. Gourry threw his arms over the seat to copy Lina and smacked on his sandwich.

"Who me?" Zelgadis snapped, getting defensive.

Lina pursed her lips. "Not you! That horned kid, the one that keeps lookin' at you."

Gourry gulped down more of his food. "Maybe he's trying to make friends."

"More like he's thinking about killing you when you get off the bus." Lina giggled as Zelgadis gave her a frightened reaction. 

Zel crouched back in his seat. "Don't say things like that! I don't need anymore enemies…" He laid his head on his knees. "I just want to make some friends."

Gourry pushed himself further down Zel's seat, to point where he could almost fall next to him. "I'll be your friend!" Gourry said cheerfully with his hand out. Zel did not look too happy, but accepted the hand and shook it in agreement.

"I guess I'll be your friend too. No since making camp any worse." Lina sat back. "Whoa!" The bus swerved as it turned a corner and couple of kids tumbled into the other aisle of seats.

Filia shrieked and grabbed hold of the top Xelloss' head. The bus came to a stop and the two counselors fell back into one of the empty seats. Hidden behind the cushion from the children Xelloss giggled. "Hello there Filia!" A loud smack echoed through the bus. "Eeeouch!"

"Children!!" Filia popped up from the seat with a big smile on her face. "We're finally here at Camp Winnebaggo!" 

The kids' unenthusiastic cries rang through the aisles. "Yey…."

Amelia jumped up on her seat. "YEY! WHOO!"

Lina blinked. "I spy with my little eye a sure fire candidate for Ritalin."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry about it Gourry."

"Oh, okay."

= = = = = =

The bus came to a stop outside the main entranceway. Xelloss and Filia led the kids out and had them stand in two lines; one boy line, one girl line. Lina was first in her line, Amelia following and then Martina. The boy consisted of Zelgadis in front with, much to his dismay, Valgarv behind him with Gourry at the very end.

Filia and Xelloss stood by their group. Filia glanced over at Xelloss, "Weren't there more children last year? There were at least twenty each."

Xelloss shrugged. "Well it IS camp Winnebaggo, Filia."

"What's that suppose to mean????" Filia shot back at him. She quickly composed herself for the children's sake and clapped her hands to get her group's attention. "Girls! Girls! Time to head over to your bunks, then we'll meet back here with the boys! Follow me!" She blew her whistle and marched forward.

Lina yawned and shuffled her feet after Filia. Martina was making her up to the front of the line. "Hey! Green hair! What are you doing, I'm first here!" Lina sped up, stepping in front of Martina.

"Well you're going too slow! I hate it when stupid girls walk too slow….Move it!" Martina jogged forward.

"Oh no you don't!" Lina started running. "Mint head!"

Amelia jogged after the two girls. "Wait for me! I don't wanna be slow!"

"GIRLS! SINGLE FILE!" Filia chased after her small group.

= = = = = =

 Xelloss laughed to himself as he watched Filia loose control of the girls. "Oh Filia, ye of little brain….okay boys, we're to set you up at your bunks now."

Zelgadis, Valgarv and Gourry looked over at the screaming girls. Xelloss motioned over to the other side of the camp. "Alright men, off to the bunks!" 

The bunks by the lake were lined up like military huts. Each one was marked up with a picture of an animal. Xelloss led the boys to the one with the fox.

"Camp Winnebaggo has gone through some tough weather the past seasons after summer and cleaning has been a pain. Hopefully this bunk house is in good condition." Xelloss dug out his keys from his shorts' pocket and tried the lock with five or more keys.

Gourry looked over at Xelloss sweating over the lock. "Does it work?"

Xelloss frowned slightly. "Oh it will work…" He blinked at the lock and put the keys back in his pocket. "Seems the lock has corroded a bit this past year. But not to worry! Now you'll see how the Indians pick locks." Xelloss picked up a rock, roared out a battle cry and smashed it across the lock. The boys flinched at the attack and watched the lock crumple to the ground.

"It's open!" Xelloss sang. "Let's up this a clean one.." He opened the door. It was very dark inside even against the light of the sun. When he flipped on the switch, bugs of all kinds retreated to the other side of the room.

Zelgadis looked sick. "Oh jeez…." Gourry stuck out his tongue and shut his eyes. Valgarv just shrugged.

Xelloss grinned. "Hey, this is a clean bunk! I'll leave you boys to put your things away. Meet me out in the center of the camp when you're done!"

The boys stood standing as Xelloss slammed the door shut. Zelgadis rubbed his arm as he looked around the room. The walls were dirty and thick with mold. He could feel a draft coming from a crack in the left wall. But the beds looked….okay, he guessed.

Gourry threw down his things and rushed for one of the bunk beds. "I GET THE TOP!!" He leapt up in one bound, landing straight on the top bed, only for it to come crashing down on the second bed. Gourry slowly lifted his head up, "Ouchy….."

Valgarv shrugged and rolled his eyes. He pointed to the only single bed in the corner. "I get that one. The one that's not broken."

"Then where I am going to sleep!" Zelgadis demanded.

"Just take the second bed on the bunk bed."

Zel snorted, "But Gourry broke it. It's not a bunk bed anymore, it has become a one bed now." Gourry was trying to lift the top mattress off the second bed.

"I think I got it guys!" As Gourry was trying to peel off the top bed it broke in half in his hands. 

Zelgadis slapped his forehead. "Stop breaking stuff Gourry!"

"I can't help it…" Gourry whimpered, giving up and sitting on the second mattress and the torn one. "It's my big hands." He flopped his hands at the two boys.

Valgarv snickered. "And you're big feet!" He laughed to himself and put his bag near his undamaged bag.

Zelgadis pondered for a while. "There was something that my grandpa said about guys with big feet…"

Gourry swung his feet on the bed. "Big shoes?"

= = = =

"EWW! BUG!" Martina stomped up and down on an ant. "I hate bugs!"

Lina didn't mind too much. The only bugs in the bunk were a few beetles and ants. Amelia could care less about the bugs; she was too excited about the whole camping experience. 

"Lina! Come and be bunk mates with me!" Amelia tossed her bag on the top bunk. The girls suddenly froze when they hear a low growl coming from under the mattress. They edged closer to the bed, showing some little eye contact, then they backed away.

"What is it?" Martina asked, shaking. "Is it an animal?"

"A monster…" Amelia whimpered. Lina gulped and slowly lifted the bed…

= = = =

Xelloss and Filia were sitting on one of the picnic tables, looking at their watches. "What's taking so long?" Xelloss yawned and leaned back on the table.

Filia hummed impatiently as she tapped on the glass covering of watch. "You'd think with only three kids each things would be easier."

"Heh, yeah." Xelloss stretched. "At least with twenty kids a piece last year, no one missed the kid who eaten by a bear. The odds are against us this time."

Filia twitched. "A kid got eaten by a bear? Which one?"

"Ya know, that freckled kid with the brown hair." 

"Oh I hated him. At least the bear didn't."

Xelloss raised an eyebrow. "Hey Filia, I think your girls are coming." He said with his arms folded behind his head.

"RACOON!!! EEEE!!!" 

Xelloss grinned. "Those girls can really run. They must be eating their Wheaties."

To be continued….

= = =

The kids encounter their first activity in the next chapter with their first Darklord. Arts and Crafts will never the same. Could super glue really scar a child for life? 


	3. Activity # 1

__

Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait, been very busy here. Oh, for someone who asked me on the review board; Zel is human. This is just my take on him as a kid, but he's still the same depressing guy he always is. The raccoon in this story is based from real life when I went to camp at age eight. Though Xelloss' tactics to get rid of it is a lot different from what really happened….Enjoy, it's an extra long chapter. Suggestions are welcome =)

Chapter 3

Filia quickly ran to the nearest pay phone on camp. The moment she dialed a number for help Xelloss tapped his finger on tab and disconnected it. She hissed at him, "Xelloss! We need to call Animal Control to take the raccoon out of the girl's bunk! It's the most logical thing to do." She said panicking, shaking the disconnected phone at him.

Xelloss shrugged. "Calm down, Filia. A wild animal like that will eventually leave the bunk."

"But we don't know how long it's been in there," Filia argued, this wrung her hands in front of her face at a sudden thought. "What if it's rabid? Oh those poor girls!"

He grinned. "Then we take out the heavy artillery! And by that I mean find someone and pay them less than minimum wage to do it for us." Xelloss nudged her in the shoulder. "What do you say Filia?"

Filia wrinkled her brow in thought. "Well…it would help with the funds we have here….which isn't much. But what about the girls?" She motioned at the shivering girls huddled around her legs. 

"What about the girls!" Xelloss picked them up to their feet, prying their arms off Filia's shorts. "They're young. If they are traumatized, they can just block it out. Remember the kid and the bear?"

Filia narrowed her eyes. "He got eaten…I don't think he got completely over that."

Amelia shivered. "Raccoon…B-b-b-bad.."

Xelloss strolled off in the other direction. "I'll take care of the raccoon in a flash, Filia!"

She nodded hesitantly, "And bring the boys! We have to take them to their first activity!" Filia yelled after him.

"Just keep your toosh attached, Filia!" Xelloss yelled back

= = = =

"Did you hear all that screaming from the girl's bunk?" Gourry whispered as he stood upright on the 'fixed' top bunk of the bed to look out the window. 

Zelgadis backed away from the bed. "Gourry! Stop that or it will break again!"

Xelloss barged into the room. "FALL IN!"

Gourry screamed in surprise and fell off the bed.

"Well." Xelloss smiled at his group. "At least one of you was listening. Follow me."

= = = =

Filia smiled bright at the gleaming, bright faces of the children sitting around her on a wooden stage set around a fake campfire. "We've set all of you up with your first activity at Camp Winnabaggo. Counselor Xelloss is tending to other things at the camp, mainly the raccoon problem in the girl's bunk."

Zel blinked and glanced at Lina. "You guys had a raccoon?"

"That's an understatement! It was a monster." Martina whined from behind Lina. "A grimy disgusting monster set on killing us all! He ate my nail polish!"

Lina cleared her throat. "It was just a raccoon Martina. Big and mean, but still a raccoon."

Amelia rocked back and forth, still in shock, eyes bugging out. "I like rice."

"She's not fully out of it yet." Lina explained Amelia's behavior to Zelgadis. 

Valgarv grinned widely. "I really want to see this raccoon! He's sounds awesome!" He laughed to himself.

"Children!" Filia shouted. "Please give me your full attention! I know how bored you must be waiting for Xelloss. If you would all listen to me I'll try to find some way to entertain you." Filia ducked down behind the stage to get something of hers.

Lina sat down Indian style next to Gourry and Zel and crossed her arms. "What is she gonna do? Start a sing-a-long?"

"Who likes showtunes!" Filia squealed out as she popped from the stage with a beat up guitar. 

Valgarv and Martina gave Lina a dirty look. Lina smiled nervously, holding up her hands. "Um….my bad."

= = = = = =

"Yo! Bus guy!" Xelloss yelled from outside the side door of the bus that had the words Camp Winnabaggo written on the side. Zangulus snorted in surprise, sputtering from his deep sleep in the driver seat. He had on a worn baseball hat with his long, curly black hair dangling around his face. A cigerette hung from the side of his mouth. Classic bus driver…

He sleepily cocked his head to the door. "Yeah, whatta you want?" He growled.

"I have a proposition for you." Xelloss grinned. 

"What?" He sat back on the sit, propping his feet on the wheel.

"I'll give you twenty bucks if you get rid of a nasty raccoon in the girl's bunk house." He waved a twenty-dollar bill from outside the window. Zangulus blinked and pulled the lever and opened the door.

"Did you just say you'd give me twenty bucks to get a **_nasty_** raccoon out of some house?" He raised an eyebrow at Xelloss.

Xelloss shifted his feet and his grin grew wider. "Did I say nasty? I meant cute and cuddly. Like the show The Care Bears. Whatta you say?" He flashed the bill again, pulling the edges with the fingers on both hands, "Give Jackson some Action?"

Zangulus scratched his head under his hat. "Uh……twenty bucks huh…" He rubbed a hand on his chin, then sighed. "Ah hell, it's more than they pay me to drive….I'll do it."

Xelloss grinned a toothy smile and said cheerfully. "Get your crowbar."

= = = = =

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! Find me a find! Catch me a catch! Night after night, in the dark, I'm alone. So, find me a match of my own…." Filia sang a little too happily on the guitar, ignoring the anguished expressions from the kids sitting in front of her. 

Zelgadis covered his ears. "Ahh! I had to watch that movie so many times with my grandpa! Why must everything I despise come back to haunt me?!" Everyone moaned and groaned, Filia was oblivious, but isn't she always?

"For Papa, make him a scholar. For Mama, make him rich as a king. For me, well, I wouldn't holler, if her were as handsome as anyth…Ehch!" Filia twanged the guitar suddenly and rubbed her shoulder. "Pulled a muscle."

"I'm here!" Xelloss jogged up to the children. Filia opened her mouth to say something, but Xelloss stopped her. "Yes Filia, I did take care of the raccoon, he'll be out very soon. Everything is great, okay?"

Filia narrowed her eyes at him. "You're sure?"

"Am I not a total bastard?" He flashed a zestfully clean grin.

She shrugged, "I'll take your word for it." Filia put down the guitar, ignoring the relieved sighs from the kids. "We'll take them to their first activity, then?"

"You get your kids and I'll get mine." Xelloss lined up the boys as Filia did the same for the girls and the both of them headed to one part of the camp.

= = = = =

Gourry trotted after Lina, Zel and Amelia. "Hey guys! Do you know where we're going?" Zel just chucked his hands into his pockets and kicked a pinecone.

"I wish I knew. Something about an activity." Zel said monotoned. 

"Oh I hope it's lunch!" Lina cried out.

"Yeah!" Gourry cheered. "I'm really good that sort of activity!" Lina and Gourry talked excitedly about lunch, dinner, just about every meal course there was….some even made up.

Zel decided to step out of the conversation for a little bit.

"Flower!" Amelia squealed and picked up a dandelion.

Xelloss and Filia reached a door of cabin. Filia knocked at it a few times and stood back to wait for the occupant on the other side to open it. She smoothed out her shirt, "Xelloss, do you know if she's well enough to do the activities with the kids? I've heard some rumors about her."

"Oh Filia, you worry too much. Dolphin is okay."

The door burst open and a woman sprang out with a hockey mask and a chainsaw turned on full blast, her sea green flying wildly around the white mask. Filia and the children screamed bloody murder.

"OH MY GOD!" Filia hugged as many kids in he arms as possible. "DON'T KILL US!" 

Valgarv's eyes lit up. "COOL! This camp rocks!"

Xelloss smiled and chuckled. He shook his head, "As I told you before, Dolphin is just fine. Hey, Dolphy? Ready for your first batch for kiddies?"

The woman stopped the whirling chainsaw and removed her mask to reveal a cheerful smiling face with her sea-green hair flowing around her face. "Oh yey! I hope my fireman costume didn't scare them!"

"Not at all." Xelloss walked in the cabin. "Filia, bring them in."

"ARE YOU CRAZY!?" Filia nearly screamed, holding the kids to her.

Xelloss stood still at the doorway. "No, I just don't give a damn. C'mon Filia, she'll be good. She's on her medication."

"We can have our jobs thrown in the trash if one of these kids gets hurt because of her!" Filia yelled out loud.

"Need I remind you of the bear?" Xelloss prodded from the door.

Filia closed her eyes. "Yes I do. And I got promoted that summer too…because they didn't find out."

Lina grimaced. "That's a nice thought. Everyone that wants to go home raise your hand." Zel and Martina did, but Gourry, Amelia and Valgarv were not paying attention.

Dolphin giggled in delight as Xelloss pushed the children into the cabin. Inside there were tables set up long ways across the room. "Take your seat!" The sea green haired woman squealed. "We'll begin you first activity in a moment."

Filia bit her lip nervously. "Do you think it's safe?"

"I haven't the foggiest." Xelloss frowned for a second, then his smile lit up again. "How about we go get a Starbucks coffee? It's on me."

"I don't know why you're changing the subject…." Xelloss just took her by the arm and drug out the door and shut it with a slam.

Gourry drummed his fingers on the table and looked about the room. Lina leaned back in her chair, glancing over her shoulder while Zel just sat there at his seat. Valgarv sat on the other side of the table and glared at him.

"What is your problem?" Valgarv grumbled at him. "You think you're better than everyone?"

Zel blinked and got defensive. "Says who? I hate it here as much as you do." 

"Hah, I don't believe that on bit! I know your type!" Valgarv stood up from his seat and stared him down. "You….you…" he paused in thought, eyes rolling to the side then shooting them back at Zel. "You Commy!"

"Commy?" Zel mumbled, looking confused. "Commy…..what's a commy?"

Valgarv looked perplexed as well and he sat down in his seat. "I…uh, I donno. My dad calls everyone that."

Lina shook her head. "Don't listen to that half-wit, Zel. He's just a rebel without a cause."

"Dude!" Gourry yelled from his seat. "That lady is bringing something really big!" They all turned to watch Dolphin drag out a large box, still wearing her hockey mask, but this time it was pulled back over her head.

"Today we're going to be doing…" She dove into the box and held up a Popsicle birdhouse, "Arts and Crafts!"

Amelia hooted from the back of the room. "Woo hoo!"

"Yahoo…" Valgarv sighed.

Dolphin gave each kid a box full of toothpicks, putting the birdhouse in the middle of the room for display. "Um….teacher woman?" Lina raised her hand.

"Yes, young lady?" Dolphin said a little too sweetly for Lina's taste. 

"You want us to make a Popsicle birdhouse out of toothpicks?" Lina said with a pained expression.

"Ohh! You're so smart!" Dolphin ran up and put a sticker on her forehead, Lina froze up and picked at the sparkle star planted between her eyebrows.

Gourry sniffled from behind Lina. "I want a sticker…"

"No! I mean shouldn't we be using popsiscles to make popsiscle birdhouses!" Lina whined, peeling off the plastic paper on her head.

"Yeah!" Martina yelled. "That makes a since."

"Even she knows the difference…" Lina drolled without smirking at her own joke. Martina leaned over the table to stick her tongue out at her.

Dolphin held an air of surprise as she stopped passing out the toothpicks. "You don't want to make my birdhouses…..oh dear…" She looked suddenly sick and had everyone's attention as she wobbled a little, holding the edge of the table to support herself.

"What's up with her?" Martina squawked in a snotty voice. 

Gourry shook his head slightly, eyes looking worriedly at the woman. "She doesn't look so good…"

"Yeah." Zelgadis agreed. "Miss? Miss are you okay?"

She slunk down near the floor. "They don't like my birdhouse activity…" she murmured. 

Valgarv groaned. "Ah crud, she's gettin' emotional." He leaned his cheek on his palm. 

Dolphin looked like she was on the verge of crying, then a loud (ding) came from the end of the room. "My brownies are ready!" Suddenly changing moods and running to the corner. The kids just blinked.

"Miss Filia was right." Amelia said hugging her arms, "She's not okay."

"More like insane." Lina muttered. Dolphin came back with a tray full of brown lumps that looked brownies if they were fried and set outside on a hot day.

Valgarv voiced his opinion on what he thought that looked like. "Are those big steaming piles of.."

"They're brownies!" Dolphin cried out joyessly. "Fat free with sprinkles!"

Zelgadis picked one up and examined it. "These sprinkles look like dead ants. Oh jeez, they are dead ants!" Martina screamed in disgust when Gourry ate a 'brownie' and offered her a piece.

"Teacher? Weren't we suppose to be doing crafty type stuff?"

Dophin blinked. "Do what in the what what?"

"Crafts!" The kids yelled.

"Oh." Dolphin reached down and took out some construction paper and some glue, placing it on the tables. "Here, make a picture for your mommies and daddies!"

Valgarv pushed his pile of paper away from him. "Eech! That's for babies!" Everyone else dove for the paper, picking out favorite colors and started cutting out shapes. He glanced at the small bottle of glue and read the title. "Super glue." His eyes widened and lit up, "Ooh yeah! Now this is gonna be fun!"

Zelgadis sat between Lina and Gourry, half-heartedly cutting the colored paper. "Hey Gourry, what are you making?" Zel asked him as Gourry was cutting out a strange shape out of a red piece of paper.

"Steak and eggs!" Gourry exclaimed.

Lina paused in her craft making, "Cool! I'm making chicken and mashed potatos." She sat back and admired her handy-work. "Beautiful."

Zel rolled his eyes. "Yeah. What is up with you guys and food?"

The redhead scoffed back, "Well, what you making?"

He blushed when he realized what he had made. "Uh…..a blue rabbit..thing."

Amelia, who was sitting beside him a few seats down, giggled when she saw his cutout. "Mr. Zelga-bunny! Eeee!" Gourry and Lina laughed as Zelgadis turned bright red. Gourry laughed the hardest, slapping his hands on the table and into a sticky pile of goo.

"Hey, what's this?" Gourry peeled his hand from the table and examined the stuff on his fingers. Valgarv snickered at his booby trap and tried to hold his chuckles in as Gourry waved his hand around a bit to get the super glue off.

Lina ducked as Gourry swished his hand above her head. "Gourry! What the heck is wrong with you?"

"I got gunk on my fingers! See!" Gourry pushed his hand out, brushing it on her shirt. Lina whapped his hand away but it was stuck to the front of her shirt.

"Get your hand off me!" Lina screamed, but his hand refused to budge from the fabric. Gourry whined and pulled at his hand as Lina yanked at her shirt. 

Zelgadis and Amelia stared in surprise. "Hold on Gourry!" Zel reached Gourry's hand to pull it off Lina and accidently got his hand stuck on the glue on his friend's hand. "Acck! Sorry, sorry!"

Valgarv and Martina howled in laughter, but Amelia almost burst into tears. "Oh my goodness! I'll save you!"

No need to explain that Amelia too got her hand stuck to Lina's shirt. Lina screamed with anger when suddenly Dolphin came into the room and gasped with surprise.

"Young lady, what on earth is going on?" She witnessed the three kids with their hands glued to Lina's chest. She pointed at Lina, "That's sexual harassment and you don't have to take it!" 

= = = = =

After some cleaning up the mess from the room and Lina's shirt, all was well for the campers. Filia tried to make Xelloss file a report on Dolphin, but Xelloss bought her another coffee instead. The kids lined up back at the center of the camp. 

"So what have we learned so far?" Filia asked, her eyebrow twitching, trying to focus on keeping everything normal.

Zelgadis raised his hand. "I learned that I prefer making birdhouses out of toothpicks."

Gourry also raised her hand. "I learned what sexual harassment means!"

Valgarv didn't raise his hand, but said, "I learned what Dolphin's Social Sercurity Number is!" 

Filia sighed and held the side of her head with her left hand. "My god…."

"That's great kids! I bet you're all pumped up for your next activity with Mr. Garv. I hope you brought your gym shoes!" Xelloss clapped his hands.

Valgarv gulped. "Oh no….d-d-dad?"

= = = = =

To be continued…

Will the kids survive their P.E. activity with Coach Garv? What happened to the bus guy and the raccoon? Tune into the next chapter.


End file.
